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Ah, yes...poetry. It's good stuff yo. Well here's all my work...sucktacular or not, it's here. Yup yup.
all of this is my work unless stated otherwise, so if you mar/steal/plagerize/take/rape it from me, i will stab you
new poems are in bold
pretty faces and perfect figures
sequined skirts and white gloves
satin sheets and candied lips
red nails and high heels
blue eyes and liquor
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:
THIS IS A TALE OF CORRUPTION, SIN, AND ADULTERY
fishnets and crimson kisses
seductive looks and dreamy smiles
wine glasses and stirring sticks
paper money and cuban cigars
BOYS AND GIRLS:
THIS IS A STORY OF GREED AND LIES
smoky lights and liquid sax
rich gentlemen and golden whores
jazz pianos and silver pistols
touching bodies and hot embraces
long legs and enticing melodies
hangman's noose and prison bars
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:
GOODNIGHT. PLEASE COME AGAIN.
Spider legs open and close
Around its child
Blinking once and again
Focus, blurry, refocus
Brown, green, blue, gray
She wears different shades
Violet, emerald, silver, indigo
Frosted, bold, or pale
Sometimes she dresses up
The rest of the time, she lets it go
They all hide behind a screen door
Steel, mesh, masks, hinged to foundations
The storm door will protect them against all odds
Finances come and go
Magic is made
People laugh, a sweater is bought, someone eats toast
Never realizing that great enemies hover around them
The bus pulls over again
It's Tuesday morning; have a good day honey
Soon you come back home
Expecting perfect order
Finances stack against you
All the magic dies
People scream, the sweater is ripped, the toast is gone
The enemy has attacked
Bruises are made behind the doors
Yells and screams escape the drywall
Blood spills from veins and shouting continues
Children die, babies squeal, fresh pain is brought again
Things are created, then destroyed
Everyone is taken for granted
That steel mesh never protected you
The ladder rises
The bridges wither
She dies all over again
Won't someone store her ashes?
I'll keep them under my pillow
Nighttime comes on wings
Bringing stars and other things
Putting out purple embers
Hush baby, go to sleep
Blood flows through a stem
Coloring all the roses red
Someone bring her a ring of thorns
Awaken in the dust
A flame is born upon my hand
I carry this destruction in my palms
Everything is smoldering under my power
Everything is burned to dust
Every face is distorted
bullet wound hugs me
says she loves me
says she treasures me
...I think
butterfly wing kisses me
says she'll hug me
says she'll teach me
...I wish
band aids cover me
say they'll heal me
say they'll make me right
...hahaha
scissors like to play with me
say they want to be my friend
say they want to be my lover
...if they so desire
risk cares for me
says she'll dress me
says she'll feed me
...she is not my mother
Spider's crypt
Hands all around her
The sense of touch
...yes you can feel...yes you may explore...
Mistress says no
And you will obey her
She said no
Can't you listen?
Read the EXIT sign
It spins e-m-e-r-g-e-n-c-y in a crimson web
Red, blue, green, pink
Gold, silver, chains, bands
Loops and diamonds
Intertwine in perfect step
Ruby hangs on a teardrop, suspended from a filament
Emerald sleeps upon skin, with eyes of a snake
Diamond wraps in a perfect circle, upon delicate dollish fingers
Sapphire listens to every word; she's the closest to all information
From one angle, pure and bold like a scream
From this angle, soft and iced, like the richest sugars
From another angle, pale and sickly like a child
In its essence it is pure
In its core it beautifies you
In its very soul you may find yourself
In a simple, glorious gem
"I wish I felt this way"
"I wish I looked like this"
"I wish, I need, I have"
Restrictions prevent you from
STEP ONE: Wishing you had that.
STEP TWO: Realizing you NEED it.
STEP THREE: Then finding you have it.
What is "it?"
a friend: you wish for one...no, now you need one...and you'll find one, sharing your cell
a lover: you wish for one...the wish becomes burning desire...only you find "it" in the most unexpected place; the past
a song: won't someone sing to you...no, you have to sing NOW...don't you hear your own song? "it" thrives in your soul
a toy: you want something to play with...you need "it" to distract you...only you have "it," sitting in your head
Once you find an it, proceed to do steps 1-3
But what happens when you take your "it" to heart?
You must do STEP FOUR
Appreciate and respect your friend
Value and cherish your lover
Sing and allocate your song
Play and love your toy
...What is your "it?"
Alone
Here I sit, weeping
Lost in the comfort of my own tears
Cascading from my face like a gentle waterfall
I have nobody
No one is here to touch me
Except fleeting memories and ghosts of times past
Why's run through my illusive mind
Why this, why that, why can't, why is
I make myself small so you can't see me
On the floor I lay
I am trying to fix my wings
Fragile, silk, perfect, treasures
Soft, light, gentle, pretty
I can fly, I can escape
I take my flight!
SHATTERED
RIPPED
TORN
BURNED
DESTROYED
THROWN ON THE GROUND
Bleeding
...Hello ashes...
My wings, no longer a part of me
Lay in shreds
Misshapen
Disconnected
Crippled
CRISIS CRISIS CRISIS CRISIS
Stop
Mind your own business
Dear reader;
I've gone on my voyage. Destiny and Knowledge shall be my ever present companions. I also hope to run into Light and Truth along the way. When I return, stories will be told. For now, be wise, and follow these instructions:
-Plant my flowers when I leave. The seeds reside in your heart. All you must do is water them with devotion and song
-Tend to my garden and help it grow. Give warmth and kind words, and it shall blossom.
-Hold the hand of a loved one and gaze into the sky. Point out the stars and look into their face
-Pick some flowers and place them in a jar. Water them daily and read the roses poetry
-Sing and dance under the moonlight and talk to the stars. They need compassion too.
-Oh, please don't forget to feed your soul. There is love in the pantry, contentment in the cupboards, and laughter on the shelves. Indulge yourself
-Make sure to tend to everything else; the trees, the air, the sky, the rain, the birds, and the plants
-Take the child fishing. Teach him to sing and skip rocks. Hold his hand on the way home and buy him ice cream
PS: I'll come home soon, hand in hand with myself. I shall be dressed in smile and I shall smell of rain. My eyes will glow like the twilight and in my voice you'll hear the distant breezes. I will have finally found my Truth, and you'll remember that there is life outside of steel and cement.
Cut me free of these bonds
Please god, I cannot breathe
You brought me here to live my life
But I cannot live inside this confine
Let me fly out of these restrictions
Please god, don't make him suffer
I'd give my life and my wings
To see him be happy
Loosen me from these knots
Please god, I'm slipping
I can't hold onto anything anymore
Every rung is a sliver that cuts me
Release me from this suffocation
Please god, I loathe it here
I can't find a calm corner
Everything is stained with bitterness
Liberate me from this cell
Please god, I need some light
Give me warmth
In the coldness of my existence
Take the shackles off my spirit
Please god, I need to fly free
When I am here, there is no life
When I am home, I just exist
younger sister sits in the snow
she knows what she's waiting for
skin is cold, heart is colder
all she wants is some love
all she craves is a single star
it blinks for her
once
twice
and then it fades
little sister weeps in the snow
clinging to silver strands of hope
face is frosty, emotions are frostier
all she wants is the warmth
all she desires is your hand
to hold
to squeeze
to keep
modest sister lies in the snow
watching the heavens glow
eyes are closed, lips are drawn
all she wants is you
all she has is herself
to depend on
to break
to love
to hate
meek sister twirls in the snow
feeling the breeze blow
arms are raised, smile is bared
all she wants is a companion
to dance with
to smile with
to lean on
to grow with
diminutive sister lives through the snow
dreaming of a satin rose
mind at rest, breathing so slow
all she wants is certainty
all she has is a friend
a shield
a sister
a light
me
Animated thoughts
...Dreaming...
Sun rises fully
Morning, soon turns to night
Sun, soon fades into moon
Throttle at your fullest speed
Take your best shot; I am waiting
Churning forward into the depths
Window
Glass
Barrier
Freedom
Fly
Bird with wings
Lacey wings
Glorious wings
Swan beauty, elegant royalties
Dressed in silk, packaged nice and neat
Compressed
Condensed
Boxed
Shift
Stamp
SENT
Wails cascade downhill
On the blade, under the rug
Grasp your hand, sing a song
Once this night, now is dawn
Run to me
Sleep in my arms
Slave for the glory
Ribbon snakes, dancing river
Red rose
Fade hope
Lost. Found
One. Two
Him. Me
Smile. Sweet
Candy. Eyes
Flowers. Thorns
Ashes. Surprise
Love me like I love you
Hate me like I hate you
Abuse me like I abuse you
I am the lie. You are the truth.
Want me like I want you
Need me like I need you
Conceive me like I conceive you
I am the none. You are the one.
Fear me like I fear you
Deceive me like I deceive you
Feed me like I feed you
I am the whore. You are the pure.
Destroy me like I destroy you
Ignore me like I ignore you
Exploit me like I exploit you
I am the sickness. You are the cure.
Death
A cold blanket I wrap around me
To calm the fiery rage
Death
An old friend
And a new enemy
Death
Tuck me under the tombstone
Lay my head upon the cold ground
Death
Kiss me tenderly
Suck my life out of my lips
Death
Touch my face with a bony finger
Wedge yourself into my corners
Death
Kiss me goodnight
Don't wake me
...Ever
Falling into my bed
Bury my head under you
Blankets wrapped around me
Drifting off to a fantasy land
Walking through a paper field
Inhaling the satin air
Picking up silk flowers
Braiding a little girls hair
Swimming in a plasma ocean
Diving with the velvet fish
Draping myself over melted rock
Climbing trees that don't exist
Sleeping in someone else's bed
Eating candy off the trees
Looking at a purple sky
Dripping silver rain
Waking up in my bed
Pushing you off of me
Blankets on the floor
Home from my dream
Spotlight
Resting on me again
Tapping the microphone; is this thing on?
Clearing my throat, and I'm getting nervous
Ready to recite my monologue
Suddenly I'm frozen
My words are stuck in my throat
I look around the stony audience
A look of pity sewn to their faces
Suddenly their eyes stir
They hold a silenced breath
Then let it out as one person; blow me away
Off the stage, strangled by the curtains
The next act is up
I'll never melt under that spotlight
I walk away, defeated
I'll never have another chance to say even my first line
A place inside my head
A place that's warm and cold
A place inside that changes
A place that gets so old
Something inside me shivers
Insanity creeps along
The voices fail to cease
They sing a sinister song
Eyes conceal a secret
Hiding things from me
Living in a stolen shelter
Avoiding all but me
Rose
So royal, so red
Vibrant, alive
Majestic, wonderful
Open your face
Let me look at you
Oh my rose, you are so lovely!
Resplendent
Resilient
Oh, let me hold you
Rose
So dead, so dry
Withered, skeletal
Empty, cold
You've closed your face to me
Let me see you again
Oh my rose, you are still so lovely
Dangerous
Thorny
Oh, let me prick my fingers on you
she wants naught but to be loved
realized
treasured
cherished
desired
she has naught but love
compassion
knowledge
devotion
a dream
a mind
a game
a star
gather children...
it is storytime
once upon a dream
no...
you're not good enough for that
you don't deserve a dream
nor are you worthy of it
so your dream shall become a nightmare
everything beautiful dies
the flowers wilt into ashes
the children shrink into skeletons
the clouds burn into onyx oblivion
lips kiss your neck
and rip your skin
tears shall grasp you
and wring the life away
shakes shall control you
and melt your thoughts away
turn the next page...
...what is this surprise...
pages go blank
eyes become blind
you see no more...
Experience your fear
Unscrew the lid
Pour it out of the bottle
A red fall
Slide onto the spoon
Bottle to the floor
s-m-a-s-h
Oh look, broken pieces
Slit your arms up and down
Make the fissures crimson deep
This IS the point of no return
Swallow
Choke
Writhe
And die
The spoon falls; the remains of a final binge
It lies next to the shattered pieces; finally, they are together
At last, life is gone
Death covers you in a spider web blanket
The air is toxic
And the water you crave is nonexistent
The darkness presses into you
And suffocates your remains
But what is this?
A light, a song, a rose, a voice
Maybe you're not as dead as you thought
Something has saved you
Is this good or bad?
The light? It is fluorescent, a blinding white halo
And the song? There is no song, only screams and whimpers
The redness of the rose? It is a bag of blood, keeping you alive
A voice? There is no ONE voice. There are many.
They shout orders
Someone is weeping
Suddenly, your heart quickens, and thanks to them
You are still alive
Starch surrounds you; the fair blankets are screaming
The pillow is soft, and the monitors are beeping
Whats this plastic tube in you? Your chance at survival...maybe
But...A mistake is made, and they failed your life
And that someone weeps even more
As you breathe one final time
The sense of 'touch' diminishes
And you can no longer feel the hand
That once held yours
In its final, hospitalized moments
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Among these colors, and all the different feels
Among these different garments
Is a gown I treasure so
Yes, there is the ruby dress of agony, pride, and passion
Yes, there is the sapphire dress of elegance, etiquette, and essence
Yes, there is the yellow dress of calm, sunshine, and hope
Yes, there is the emerald dress of birth, bloom, and regeneration
Yes, there is the diamond dress of purity, beauty, and grace
Yes, there is the opal dress of hate, fear, and suppression
Yes, there is the amethyst dress of royalty, dignity, and power
Yes, there is the gold dress of wealth, resplendence, and life
Yes, there is the onyx dress of silence, wretchedness, and wrath
Yes, there is the rose dress of song, dance, and livelihood
But none are as beautiful
As thy silver dress of sorrow, lament, and remorse
With sadness woven into every satin thread
With melancholy intertwined through the strands of lace
With salty tears strewn among the grey pearls
With each step, it trails along behind me
And I feel the gloomy fabric embrace my figure, like a lost child
Thy silver veil of misery
Hangs in front of my eyes
Obscuring all thy beauty and life from me
There is no world of color and sound
Of laughter and smiles
Of children and flowers
Of hugs and kisses
There is only sleet and misery
Tears and regrets
Cold passions and lifeless motivations
Frozen feelings and thawed remorse
Oh, cling to me! My silver dress of sorrow
Beautify me!
In the most dejected way possible
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hang my face
hang it on the wall
this is my exhibit
i'm letting you explore me
put a frame around it
careful, don't touch me
you might ruin
the little beauty that remains
see my face
see it on the wall
expressionless and hollow
look into my dead eyes
all it is is a mold
nothing more, nothing less
empty eyes cry empty tears
and the fake smile displays fake emotion
i'm still beautiful
i'm still here
stuck on this wall
look at me
hazy red glow
beep. beep. beep.
6:00 AM
get up
trip into the door frame
support yourself on a marble counter
glance into the mirror
and wash the sleepiness from your face
yes, you are beautiful
you wear nothing but skin
your eyes are not dressed, coated, or glamorized
your lips are left untouched by balm
come on doll face
slip into some clothing
cotton, lace, silk, wool
something to shield and warm you
from the bitter air and bitter stares
now for your hair
your tresses, your ornament, your glory
do you we leave it up or down?
will you dye it blue or leave it brown?
the gel goes into your palms
the clips slide through your bangs
the wrap pulls your mass of curls back
revealing your face
oh, your face
so fresh from sleep
beautiful to you
but ugly to them
oh, but mirrors lie
you are NOT beautiful
so now, we add the final touch
to revamp your weary face
eyeliner goes on, and your pupils pop out of your forehead
your eyes look so realistic
behind every entity, there is always a shadow
violet, silver, blue, green, orange, or white
which shade speaks to you this morning?
just reach for one; you'll dazzle me anyways
Thirst is excruciating
Day by day he shrivels
Look at him
Poor, beautiful creature
No pleasure can slake his lust
No water can quench his essence
Day by day he dies
Look at him
Wretched, beautiful creature
Come here child
Fall into my arms
I will shield you from the hurt and glory
Day by day youll grow
Disgusting, beautiful creature
His eyes are prison
I am ensnared by that striking glance
Hes not so hideous
Day by day youll start to live
Abject, beautiful creature
A prince, oh you are mine
I own this royalty
I fall to my knees
Day by day I love you
Amazing, beautiful creature
When I'm alone
I have no friends
Only shadows
That seek and destroy
When I'm with you
I have a friend
And all this love
That beautifies me
When I'm with him
I have a chance
And I have his love
That makes me feel unharmed
When I'm asleep
I have no protection
Only ghosts
That rape and obliterate
When I'm conscious
I have no darkness
To veil myself with
Only lights and yells
When I'm on stage
I am not me
Nor am I you
I am elegant
But when I am me
I have myself
Yet there is mendacity
That pretends to be me
industrial concrete is stained red
red tears of the fence
rusty tears; the fence cries
it does have emotion. see how it mourns for you?
the grass has been replanted and rewatered, and the "DO NOT CROSS" tape is now removed
but it's still stained with the bleach
of invisible suicide
the stain won't wash out, even after a thousand storms
no eraser will cover this mistake
no matter how you try
you'll never wipe that spot clean
and just like the grass
your memory is scarred
tall stand the beams, the cement, and the steel
the structure holds a thousand metal beasts; a cage for silenced vehicles
like a baby bird, you tried to take flight
but failed, tumbled down, and smashed
blink once, twice
withering under scarlet nights
look left, right
savoring a crimson delight
step once, twice
a dance of fatality in gentle nights
flutter left, right
a glorious secret in the moonlight
cheat once, twice
saccharine blood never felt so right
dance left, right
i'll kiss your lips beneath satin starlight
touch me once, twice
falsehood is my paradise
push me left, right
you fill me with risqué delight
spoil me once, twice
let me dance on the edge of the knife
sway me left, right
mourning in the candlelight
See this plastic mask
She is your synthetic phantom
Nothing more but a human shell
Here, tie her around your face
Hide behind the empty eyes
Secure it tight with the fractured ribbons
This is how I see you
We're nothing more but one person
Just behind two different walls
Catch her hollow tears in a plastic cup
Renew her
i'm filled with tears
yet they don't fall
i'm stuck inside
these prison walls
i'm a prisoner
prisoner number ZERO
tattoo it across my arm
strip me of my dignity
slap a striped cover on me
and put me to work
i'm a prisoner
prisoner number ZERO
i starve for you, i breathe for you
i'm working for survival
barely eating
barely sleeping
the sun is cold
yet it still shines
i'm a prisoner
prisoner number ZERO
soon to die
soon to feel no pain
soon to leave these walls behind
i'm a prisoner
prisoner number ZERO
much like a dove, only with marred wings
unable to fly, yet longing to leave
do you hear my call?
once so lovely
now, i gasp for it
i'm a prisoner
prisoner number ZERO
underneath the needle
sleeping on the point
inject myself into you
unleash a chemical imbalance
i'm torturing your mind
corrupting your thoughts
redirecting your nerves
recreating the mental you
i'm making you an addict
listen to your mind; you DO need more of me
without me, you go crazy
but with me, you slowly kill yourself
crave me, taste still on your lips
the roads on your arm
drop your needle
stop using me
give yourself to me
come, let me sew you back together
i only will
if you give me one last chance
give your heart to me
please, let me patch it together
i only will
if you place it in my hand
give your trust to me
i'm begging you, let me build it again
i only will
if you allow me to
give your love to me
i'm asking you, let me fill this gap with something new
i only will
if you believe in me
give your faith to me
please, let me show you i can do it without fail this time
i only will
if you lace your fingers with mine
give your hope to me
i know, i know i can lace it up again
i only will
if you look into my eyes
give your embrace to me
come, i can make it stronger than the one before
i only will
if you wrap your arms around me
Shut up, I know you don't love me
Shut up, I know you don't miss me
Shut up, I know you don't want me
But you know, I secretly want you
Be quiet, I know you don't care
Be quiet, I know you don't feel
Be quiet, I know you don't breathe
But you know, I secretly breathe you
Be silent, I know you're happy without me
Be silent, I know you're happy in spite of me
Be silent, I know you're laughing without me
But you know, I'm crying without you
Don't worry, I am miserable
Don't worry, I am shaking
Don't worry, I am shivering
But you know, I'm still so warm
Little child, take my hand
Little boy, give me your toys
Little girl, give me your dress
Give me your hand, sink it into the blade
Little child, bleed onto my hand
Little boy, bleed onto your toys
Little girl, bleed onto your dress
Give me your hand, pry into the cut
Little child, dream upon my hand
Little boy, dream upon your toys
Little girl, dream upon your dress
Give me your hand, pour salt into the gash
Little child, die upon my hand
Little boy, die upon your toys
Little girl, die upon your dress
Give me your hand, close it over me
Aches
They burn inside me
The skin inside is bleeding
The skin outside is healing
The memories inside are screaming
And I feel
Empty
Like I am nothing
So they have reminded me a thousand times
That I really am
Nothing
Missing you
Every night
Your voice is the root of my dreams
Your face is the seed
My memories will plant you
And you grow more beautiful in front of my eyes
I try to pick you out from the ground
But you shatter
Individual petals
Falling
Like broken tears
So really
They are right
I am
Nothing
Love me!
I will crawl into you
Eat your cancer
Chew you up
Spit you back on the floor
Deceive me!
I will worm into you
Explore your body
With a tongue made of silk
Leave you cold under the rug
Deny me!
I will force my way inside of you
Explore your corners and run myself over you
Confuse your mind
Lock you in my closet
Unwrap me!
I will sleep inside you
Buried underneath your mind; I'm so warm
Your head is my cave
Wash me off of you
spread this disease
back and forth
through your needle
point sharp, in my arm
kiss this disease
back and forth
through your lips
shove your tongue down my throat
feed this disease
back and forth
through your plastic tube
dig it into my stomach
love this disease
back and forth
through your heart
twist into my thoughts
rape this disease
back and forth
inside my inner workings
push it through my body
envy this disease
back and forth
kill your precious brain cells
with my scissors
infest this disease
back and forth
dig it under my skin
mutate me from the inside
Deception
Lies
I cannot take this anymore
My idiocy is like a book
Open it up, and unfold me
Read my mistakes
Edit my wrongdoings
Change the errors
Shatter the mirrors
The ugliness within is a parasite
And it takes over my outside
Deforms my face
It twists my features
Torn from the inside
How can you love me
When I am so wrong
and so the angels kiss again
and so they rip their wings again
i never want to be like them
i swear i'll never sin again
life comes back and bites again
and stabs me in the back again
i told you "go," become one of them
i swear i'll never live again
and then you came to me again
and then you laughed at me again
and then you turned and left with them
i swear i'll never laugh again
i turned around and fell again
praying to be saved again
never will i be with them
i swear i'll never breathe again
time to rot away again
time to live and die again
you'll just go and worship them
i swear i'll never heal again
my angry tears will fall again
and eat away my mind again
leave me be, just go with them
i swear i'll never lie again
Inside my head I'm screaming
Why is she still breathing
Comes a shadow creeping
The darkness swallows her
Miming someone speaking
Maiming someone's thinking
Broken fingers choking
The silence deafens her
Nameless demons hunting
Faceless angels crawling
Poisoned lips still kissing
The austerity follows her
Broken monsters preying
Lethal nightshade gleaming
Acid dreams still hissing
The blackness crosses her
Crippled spirits singing
Seductive dancers twirling
Constant optic bleeding
The bribery abuses her
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