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February 27, 2003
Today The Lark opened. I am really excited to see it, considering a few of my friends are in it, and this play is "heavy drama," which means I will probably cry, and I need a reason to cry now. I have some sort of depression disorder. For the past 2 months, I've been very moody and angry and sad, and I want to say sorry for it. Well, um, school sucks... Yesterday, our dear friend Mr. Rogers died of stomach cancer. He was 74, and he was my hero! I dunno bout you, but I cried a bit. PLEASE REMEMBER OUR DEAR FRIEND MR. ROGERS! *sniffles*
February 26, 2003
The Lark opens tomorrow! The play at BHS, it's about Joan of Arc. Anyways... school sucks as usual, I can't get anything done because I can't concentrate, because I'm thinking about so many things. Rehearsals are OK. Life really doesn't matter. I can't make myself happy anymore. I just can't, no matter how I try. It doesn't work. Well today I was cursed out by my father and grandmother again. I say, fuck them and the rest of the world, because nobody will miss me when I'm gone! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
February 22, 2003
I went to Brian's birthday party, I've just come home (yes, it's 12:35, I have insomnia). Well I'll start off by saying it was super fun! Hostess and I played ping-pong for about an hour, hitting it off the walls and ceiling and our faces. Then we smacked plastic action figures around for a bit, breaking off their heads and legs and stuff. Then we all sat around for 2 hours at least, talking about random stuff and throwing food at each other. Seth almost killed everyone, and played extreme contact ping-pong, which is, may I add, very dangerous. *coughs* Of course, 3 hours into the party, we were all sitting on Brian's HUGE ASS MATTRESS on his bed, and he's like "Oh my god, where's my cat?!" and we all got off the bed and looked for it. Shlee and I concluded that Strider (the cat) was eaten by toilet snakes. *coughs some more* Then for about half an hour, Carly, Molly, and I did Chicago re-enactments. 'Twas great fun, and we were being loud, obnoxious teenagers. Yeah... Well now it's 1:06 PM, and yeah... My father is making me go out with relatives to eat tonight, and I know they're all going to make fun of me again. Damn them all!
February 21, 2003
I want to say something here. If I have hurt you in any way, I am so sorry. I don't want you to hate me. I just feel really insecure and I'm losing a lot of the people I love. If you're angry with me or the rest of the world, please tell me, I want to help. Don't go on hating me behind my back. I want someone to tell me they love me and I matter to someone, anyone. Well, enough of my whining. Next week is mid-quarter. School is practically over. Rehearsals are going OK.
February 19, 2003
Life sucks, school sucks, the parental units suck, music rocks, people suck. I am hated hated hated. Screwed up and over by you and everyone else. I am feeling really very insecure, and I don't feel like people love me anymore. It would make me feel so much better if you randomly give me a hug next time you see me. Otherwise.... MEH *continues killing enemies*
KILL VALENTINE'S DAY!
Today was stupid Valentine's Day. I HAD NO SPIRIT GO ME! (except for my 2 middle fingers, which were painted pink, so when people asked me where my spirit was, I flicked them off, yay!) I got the most val-o-grams in my homeroom (2), even though I'm the most hated person in homeroom, so Kira and I were eating the flowers the whole time. YAY! I got away with flicking off Ben Jerasik in English today because I was showing him my spirit. Ahhh, the joys of converting teachers to the darkside to help you escape punishment for showing your only Valentine's Day spirit. I pretty much ate chocolate the whole day, and bounced off the walls. Yeah...
February 13, 2003
I want to start off by asking a question: Is it just me, or is life really just a big play and everyone is a character? Is what we do, say, and think just part of a big script? I feel like someone's living for me, and I'm just something everyone sees, hears, breathes, tastes, and smells? I think I'm made of air, and I'm watching the real me do everything. People are walking, talking, giving, taking, killing, and living for me. Or maybe it's nerves. Well yeah, I'm still going to school and rehearsals, which are heaven and hell at the same time.
February 12, 2003
Valentine's is coming up, and I'm really dreading this particular Friday. I really hate Valentine's Day, just because it's really stupid. Lately I know I've been really angry and been a (backstabbing) bitch, so I want to apologize to everyone. (just so everyone knows, I'm going to get help for my anger, although you could probably care less) School is still purgatory, what else is new? And life is a roller-coaster out of hell. Lots of people are sick/getting sick, there's some seriously bad infection going around. I've sort of lost my voice, but it's coming back to me.
February 9, 2003
Today is Sunday, which means tomorrow I have stupid skool. Today I just downloaded really awesome music and lounged around at home. And did some stupid homework.
February 8, 2003
Today was the cast party, and it was really fun. Me, Carrol, Fechner, Zack, Malley, Shlee, Bobert, Jimmy, Jake and Robyn were playing spin the bottle with 5 bottles (don't worry, no purple happened), and we had pizza and pop and it was all good. Then me and some other people locked ourselves in a sound proof music room and told scary stories. For 2 hours. GAH. Then we watched Final Exam perform again, and they were really good. Then this really weird play called The Chairs went on, and there were only 3 people; an old man, an old woman, and "Elvis." The old man and woman kept talking to invisible people in chairs and they were suicidal, they wanted to jump out windows. Then the last play was called SPAR. It was really weird. It was this guy who was god (disguised under the name Stephen) and he controlled everyone in the cast. And god it was so weird. Then I went to Perkins with some Final people and we had food. Good times.
February 7, 2003
Fucking A, damn state tests were this week, I hate those things, they make me crabby as HELL. Well they're over now, and I think I actually did pretty good on the math one, considering math is my worst and least favorite subject. So I'm kinda feeling weird right now, I feel like people are living my life for me. Or maybe it's just my insanity. WHEEEEEEEE. God, it got really cold and snowy and frozen this week. Stupid Minnesota winter. GAH. Unfortunately, I'm back in the forsaken hell hole again. Being here makes me feel so... depressed and isolated. I hate the atmosphere and the people here. I don't like school, it is so evil and it really sucks.
February 3, 2003
Well it's February, my least favorite month because of a certain holiday *cough (Valentines) cough* Or maybe it's because it's so gray and slushy. Anyways, a start of the new month means a time to start over with some people. Just remember EVERY PERSON WHO IS READING THIS THAT I LOVE you always, the world is full of clowns. Clowns shoud die. Speaking of clowns, I went to the We Care About Kids Day in New Hope, where I painted "non-toxic" drawings of little images on Satanist children's cheeks, and handed out vein-popping popcorn. And there were clowns. KILL THE CLOWNS. GAH. |
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